The Boy's Gone Crazy

He seemed normal enough. An all-American rough and tumble kid, baseball in the summers, football in the fall. Yes, he was normal. Normal, that is until he got bitten by the bug....

The way I heard the story, it all started innocently enough. An easy phys-ed option for a homeschooler. It was his mom Jewel's idea, his dad was fine with it. Oh, if only his parents had realized the firestorm that would rain down on their lives, their time and particularly their finances from that point on, they would have run kicking and screaming from the idea.  If only...

They tell me I had something to do with the craziness that followed. I don't remember it that way at all. I am sure they sought me out. I didn't even really know them. I was just trying to be nice...it's not my fault...really... I am innocent...to some degree...

Here's the way I remember it: Jewels to The Boy: "Would you like to take riding lessons with some really cute blond girls?" The Boy: "Yes." (See? I had nothing to do with it.)

So off they went to the farm of The Darling Blond Girls for lessons on one of their show horses. It was great,  The Boy discovered that he really enjoyed being around the beautiful, fiery Arabs and The Darling Blond Sisters. He also found he had a lot of natural ability and soon became a very capable rider. (Bitten, and I was nowhere around.)

Once young people learn to ride, the next step is usually showing. I don't know why, I'm just telling you, that's what happens. Darling Girls to The Boy: "Would you like to show our horse, Financial Firestorm at the county fair? We'll be there, we can share him." The Boy: "Okay."

Showing sounds like a fine idea. Let's say you want to show western, you''ll need to get an outfit to show in. You need boots, leather chaps, a belt with a HUGE silver buckle, a hat, gloves. If you are a guy, a western shirt and black jeans. For girls you need more, so much more and so expensive that all horse show mom's are sworn to secrecy about it. And this is just the rider, the horse needs stuff too, a western saddle and bridle (usually loaded down with silver) and a fancy saddle pad.

Okay, fine you think, although showing Western is expensive, we can swing it... but wait, there's more. Most kids don't want to show just Western. They want to show English too, and maybe jumping, saddle seat, speed and action, dressage. It goes on and on, each discipline needing it's own outfit, boots, saddle and gear. If only they'd known.

So The Boy shows, and The Boy wins, and The Boy is hooked. It is now too late for Jewels to put a stop to this.  The stage is set, and the madness ensues.

The Darling Girl's horse is old, too old it is decided,  for The Darling Girl and The Boy to share it  anymore. This is a problem, a big one, because The Boy is hooked.  The Darling Girl's mom mentions to Jewels that she knows a person that has talented equids and maybe, just maybe, one might be available for The Boy to use. Here is where I entered the picture:

I've got ponies. Wonderful ponies. I also have beautiful horses. Too many really. I LOVE them, I NEED them! I CAN'T live without them!!! (I know, I'm working on this area of my life...) So Jewels called me up out of the blue and tells me The Blond Girl's mom has given her my number.. I repeat...I was just trying to be nice.

You know what? I didn't know what I was getting into either. You can't just say here's a pony, have fun. They didn't have any stuff. No saddle, no bridle, no barn, no fence, no trailer. So The Pony would have to stay on my farm and The Boy would have to come to her. But... He wanted to show.

Before I knew what hit me I was taking The Boy, The Pony and Jewels to 4-H meetings, riding lessons, horse shows and the county fair. I didn't mind. Jewels is an amazing cook and I'm not. She often paid me in food. She is kind of like a tightly wound Martha Stewart and her husband is the Energizer Bunny Man. Soon my flower beds looked amazing, and my parties and family gatherings were  planned, complete with food prepared and delivered. It was AWESOME! (I miss that.)

Another thing, it is impossible to stay a stranger with their family, before you know it you are on their Christmas list and invited to Easter dinner. I can't even BEGIN to explain them. It's like a modern day Walton Family vortex. I have never seen a family that has so much fun together or likes each other so much. I think they make up holidays just to be together more. And there are so many of them.  They pull you in with a tornadic force and tumble you out the other side well fed, laughed out and loved up. You find yourself thinking "Goodnight John Boy, goodnight Mary Sue, goodnight Jewels, goodnight Energizer Bunny Man, goodnight Boy.   Anyway..

So the Boy's father caved in and built some fences and shelters. The pony went to their place. Eventually they bought a horse trailer and they were on their own. The Boy grew. He moved up from The Pony to one of my horses.

In the course of time The Boy's  parents bought him his own horse. Not too long after that, his dad even built him a beautiful riding arena, and The Boy proceeded to transform his young, untrained horse into a muscular athlete, competing with him and winning at show after show.

Now though, The Boy is a boy no more..he is a young man, tall and handsome, an amazingly gifted rider. Today he sold his horse for many times what his parents paid for it, a testament to his talent and his training abilities, as well as a nice nest-egg for college. And guess what. He needs another horse.

Hmmm, I wonder what Jewels is making for dinner..

Butterfly Love, the waiting game.

Hello? Tap, tap. Is this thing on? Excuse me, young people, your attention for just a moment please. Pam feels the need to yammer..

If I could impart one thing I have learned about love, it would be this. Guard your heart like a treasure.

Also, don’t rush to give your heart away...protect it from being dulled by casual encounters and...BELIEVE THAT LOVE IS WORTH WAITING FOR. Whoa, all that just sort of tumbled out, sorry. It was WAY more than one thing. But really..

I know, I know, Valentine's Day is practically here. Don't get me started.. Okay, I'll say it. I don't believe V-Day is a real holiday. I think it's a marketing creation. A total Hallmark shakedown.

Worse than not being Irish on St. Patrick's Day, it's a "holiday" that can leave you feeling remarkably unloved if you aren't in a relationship. Or if you are, but your significant other believes that when you say "Honey, you don't need to get me anything", you really mean it.
Anyway...

Love. It's everywhere. Love is in the air, in our hearts, on our minds. In movies, books, magazines, TV, billboards, argh! "Love" is crammed down our throats at every turn. Beautiful, sexy people throwing themselves at each other left and right. Of course we want that. We want that NOW! Don't we? We should HURRY! Shouldn't we?

The answer is no. Wait. What? That's right, I said no. Easy does it, darlings. I know "love" sounds wonderful and we SO want romance in our lives, but "real" love is a pretty serious pursuit. Because boiled down to it's essence, true love is sacrifice. But that's a story for a different day, for now let's talk about the waiting.

Consider the butterfly, (lets make it a girl butterfly, although this totally applies to guys too. They can be moths, practically the same thing, a little more macho and not nearly as cute. Obviously.) So. The butterfly goes through all sorts of stages before she is ever ready to fly. As an egg, there she sits, waiting. Caterpillar, growing and waiting. Pupa, more waiting.

Finally she emerges from her cocoon as a gorgeous winged being and off she soars on the breeze, right? Wrong. If she steps off the branch too soon, she will crash to the ground, most likely injuring herself in the process, perhaps permanently. So, guess what she has to do. This is the hard part. She waits.

But she's not sitting there twiddling her antenna waiting for Mr. Right Breeze to come along. No, her waiting is purposeful. She's busy, very busy. Maturing. Because, even though she is fully grown, her parts are all there and she has everything she needs to fly, she's a baby. A baby butterfly, one that still has a lot of developing to do. She's engaged in strength training for flight that takes time and effort.

She needs time for her wings to unfurl, time for them to mature and dry. She'll need to try her wings out a little, fluttering them while still holding tight to the branch. All this HAS to transpire before she can actually lift off. Only once she has patiently prepared herself, can she leap into the wind. It's the same with our hearts.

Sound boring? Lonely? It shouldn't be. Just the opposite, it should be a seriously appealing endeavor. You've got time on your side and you've got freedom. Time to figure out who the heck you are, and who you want to become. That will keep you busy for a decade or so anyway.

You should have the freedom to let your adult personality unfold and grow without the pressure to "act" fully mature that a serious relationship brings with it. You need time to have CAREFREE SHENANIGANS! My wise little Ellakins once advised me that "fun is everywhere if I would just see it".

The same holds true for friends. Future friends are all around you. Before you get too busy with being all grown-up, get out there and forge a few friendships that will last your lifetime. The opposite gender is an intriguing species, and I've heard they can make wonderful friends.

This is your time between times. Please value it. You are obviously no longer a child, but a relationship is NOT what makes you an adult. It should NEVER define who "you" are. Try not to run so fast from your youth that you leave your innocence behind, or rush blindly into the complicated relationships of adulthood with your wings still damp. If you do, you may tumble to earth, perhaps to struggle broken-winged and broken-hearted just above the ground.

Patience my precious friend, enjoy getting comfortable in your own skin. Then when your wings are fully dried and Mr. Truly Right comes breezing in, you can turn your eyes to the sky, take the leap.... and let your heart soar!

Thank you for your attention. Have a lovely day. <3

A sighting of the ever elusive...

It was a rare sighting. They landed in our yard just before midnight after a weekend spent on the shore of Lake Michigan. To gain strength before winging their way back to Chicago, they returned once again, to a place of known food, shelter and shower facilities. We coaxed them into staying with promises of soft beds, endless hot water and a big breakfast.

They didn't stay long, just enough time for hugs, kisses, how are you's, and here eat this. Then, born to fly, they were gone and the nest sits empty once again.

The seasons of life have changed and I watch my fledglings soar off into the unknown, with me waving a frantic good-bye. It's hard not to be melancholy, they were nurtured in this nest. But you can't hold them after they learn to fly. They will just struggle in your hand until you release them. Then with a whir and a flutter, they ascend till they are just a tiny speck in the sky.

Still, I understand the seasons, so I don't despair. Just like the robins that disappear from my yard in Autumn, only to return every spring, they'll be back...

They know the way home.